Random acts of violets

Friday, March 31, 2006

Star Wars

I'm sure that every one in the known universe has already read this, but I just found it in an old email and it made me laugh.

"Darth Vader Strikes Back"

There's going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release
of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming up next year! Basically, it
expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to
Luke, and ties up some loose ends created with the release of
Episode 1 & 2...

The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition


A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing
LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by
Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the
ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but
realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true.

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true, and you know what else? You
know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was
7 years old...

Luke: No...!

Darth Vader: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at
yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your
own ship out of the swamp.

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-
handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never
gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's
the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I
had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old,
winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod
Racer... right here, baby!

{Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know
whose son you are, but you sure ain't mine...

{Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges
down the shaft.}

{Darth Vader looks after him.}

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Make yourself at home ...

Some time ago I did some work for the Seychelles.
Just saw a print ad that prompted me to look at the sites again. Following a link to an ad for an incredibly expensive and luxurious hotel brought up some brilliant sales copy.

"Surrender to the call of nature amidst the lush foliage of one of Mother Nature’s loveliest playgrounds. Venture beyond pure shores and the captivating coastlines of Intendence Bay, to the heart of Seychellois hospitality that makes repeat visits a force of habit! Take up this Online Exclusive and we will complement your stay with one unique Banyan Tree signature experience from our palette of special treats.

Visit site

So come to our really lush hotel and urinate in the flower beds.
May well appeal to a niche market.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Very excited

And I rarely use that phrase, but I am.

The marvelous Mr Dylan Moran is coming to Truro at the end of May.
See the booking info and overlook the lack of punctuation that made me have to read the thing at least twice!

If it is anything like as good as Monster it should be very good indeed.
Hard to choose a favourite line from that show but it's probably somewhere between "I hate you so much it gives me energy" and "cheese eating surrender monkeys".