Star Wars

I'm sure that every one in the known universe has already read this, but I just found it in an old email and it made me laugh.


"Darth Vader Strikes Back"

There's going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release
of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming up next year! Basically, it
expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to
Luke, and ties up some loose ends created with the release of
Episode 1 & 2...

The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition

INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER:

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing
LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by
Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the
ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but
realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your
father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true.

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true, and you know what else? You
know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was
7 years old...

Luke: No...!

Darth Vader: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at
yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your
own ship out of the swamp.

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-
handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never
gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's
the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I
had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old,
winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod
Racer... right here, baby!

{Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know
whose son you are, but you sure ain't mine...

{Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges
down the shaft.}

{Darth Vader looks after him.}

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!